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In a relationship, both partners are expected to accept each other’s good qualities as well as flaws, wholeheartedly. Without such acceptance, a relationship will not be able to survive successfully. However, there are certain bad relationship habits that one of the partners might develop in due course of time which have the potential to damage their dynamic. These are the bad habits that cannot be accommodated in a relationship and need to be addressed as soon as possible.
According to this study, there’s a long line of research that associates marriage with reducing unhealthy habits such as smoking, and promoting better health habits such as regular checkups. However, new research is emerging that suggests married straight couples and cohabiting gay and lesbian couples in long-term intimate relationships may pick up each other’s unhealthy habits in a relationship as well.
Corinne Reczek, a UC assistant professor of sociology, reports, “Individuals converge in health habits across the course of their relationship, because one individual’s unhealthy habits directly promotes the other’s unhealthy habits in a relationship.”
Why Are Relationships Fragile?
Table of Contents
Before we move on to list the bad habits that ruin a relationship, it is essential that we understand why relationships these days have become so fragile. Managing a romantic relationship has become a difficult task for people who are busy tackling professional responsibilities and other personal commitments. If you fail to give priority to your relationship, then you will soon see the signs your partner is taking the relationship for granted.
Some of them are not ready to make compromises and serious commitments when they are in a relationship. Some partners are even selfish and emotionally manipulate their significant others to their own advantage. These are bad habits in a relationship that lead to severe effect on mental health of the individuals too.
Instead of communicating face-to-face with their partners, people prefer to leave a text message or call them, which usually creates unwanted barriers and misunderstandings. Many people stop nurturing their relationships and do not have the courage to deal with the problems which accompany relationships, while there are some people who just seek adventure, so the idea of spending their life with one person does not attract them.
Related Reading: 8 People Share What Ruined Their Marriage
We all have gathered unhealthy relationship habits. The true bond and connectivity in relationships is missing nowadays. A majority of the people seek pleasure and external charms of a relationship, because of which relationships have lost their depth and love. Such a grim picture of relationships has to be changed and one has to put in efforts to ensure that their relationship survives the test of time. Remember, a relationship is a blessing which needs to be fulfilling and enriching for both the partners.
22 Bad Habits That Ruin A Relationship And Need To Be Addressed
Since relationships these days are fragile, they require constant attention and encouragement. One bad move on your part can cause irreparable damage to your bond with your partner. Therefore, it is your responsibility to make sure that you acknowledge if you have certain habits that ruin relationships and do everything in your power to get rid of them. Here is a quick rundown of 22 bad habits that ruin a relationship.

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1. Constantly nagging your partner
In the beginning, your partner might find your nagging and interference cute. However, in the long run, it will become annoying, especially if it is constant. You must set boundaries to make your relationship stronger and respect the private space and time of your partner.
2. Avoiding direct confrontations
It is possible that you avoid direct confrontations because passive aggression is deeply rooted in your nature. But then this kind of behavior will cause more harm to your relationship. It is important that you be honest with your partner and let them know what is wrong instead of keeping everything bottled up. But don’t turn your conflicts into things that kill relationships.There is a ‘way’ to have a conflict too, as elaborated ahead.
Amy Rauer says in this study, “…couples that were married longer tended to report fewer arguments overall — but when they do argue, they tend to argue in productive ways, focusing on things that can be solved, and emphasizing solutions rather than just venting. Being able to successfully differentiate between issues that need to be resolved versus those that can be laid aside for now may be one of the keys to a long-lasting, happy relationship.”
3. Saying negative things about your partner’s family/friends
You have to be very careful and avoid saying anything negative about your partner’s friends and family. Your partner might vent in front of you about their loved ones. However, they will obviously not appreciate negative views about them from you.
Related Reading: 15 Signs Your Husband Resents Your Side Of The Family
4. Trying to initiate changes in your partner
According to research on bad habits that impact your relationship, one primary way in which romantic partners strive to resolve conflict and improve their relationships is by asking each other to change dissatisfying behaviors or characteristics (i.e., partner regulation). Though successful partner-requested changes have the potential to improve personal and relational outcomes, these changes are difficult to make and may instead threaten relationship quality.
So how do we prevent these habits that ruin relationships from persisting? The researcher, Natalie Sisson, suggests two ways that a partner can alter their perspective to better adapt to the change request:
- Self-growth: Choose to reinterpret a request for change as a signal that your partner wants to help you grow and become a better version of yourself by letting go of the unhealthy relationship habits
- Growth of the relationship: Don’t see these requests for change as things that ruin relationships, but as a sign of your partner’s commitment to you and to improving the relationship. This may be more motivating and less upsetting
Remember, your partner might not be the perfect person you always wanted, but then it is essential that you accept them completely. Do not have any unrealistic expectations and do not force them out of their comfort zone. You should not initiate any kind of radical changes in your partner.
5. Comparing your partner to others
Don’t fall into the comparison trap! Whether you do it consciously or unconsciously, you have to stop comparing your partner to the other people around you. Appreciating your partner is extremely important. You need to respect your partner and encourage them to be a better person, instead of constantly comparing and putting them down.
6. Spending time with electronics
Technology has become a part and parcel of your life. But your relationship should be your priority and not watching endless series or having all-day video chats with friends. You must give time to your partner when you are at home. Avoid using your mobile phone and laptop when your partner is around. This way, you can connect with your partner in a deeper way.
Phubbing and phone addiction are the things that ruin relationships for sure. According to research, “What we discovered was that when someone perceived that their partner phubbed them, this created conflict and led to lower levels of reported relationship satisfaction. These lower levels of relationship satisfaction, in turn, led to lower levels of life satisfaction and, ultimately, higher levels of depression.”
7. Overly criticizing your partner
If you notice that you criticize your partner a little too much and that too on a regular basis, then you must stop. Avoid making any harsh comments on their appearance or saying anything negative about their profession. Learn to give feedback in a positive manner so that it can be accepted in a good light.
8. Keeping track of past mistakes of your partner
We asked our reader, Tucker, a finance consultant from San Diego: What are the bad habits that impact your relationship or what are the general things that kill relationships? He was ready with his answer, “My partner brings up my past mistakes, not just while we are having a conflict but even when things are settled and we’re having a peaceful day. He does it casually, and it clearly shows that the issue is alive and well inside his head, and that we didn’t really resolve it and move forward.
“He won’t share the issue with me when he should. I get to know he’s still hurt in the least expected moments. I believe this is a bad habit that destroys most relationships.” Yes, you must learn to forgive your partner when they commit a mistake and forget about it as well. If you happen to keep track of your partner’s past mistakes and mention these during arguments and fights, then it will have a negative impact on your relationship that you won’t be able to repair.

9. Being way too complacent
No doubt, over a period of time, you will become comfortable with your partner and feel content and happy. But then you have to ensure that your partner is comfortable too. If you become way too complacent and take your partner for granted, then it will be a very big mistake on your part. This is how most couples end up saying: I don’t feel loved in my relationship.
10. Maintaining low levels of hygiene
This is definitely one of the bad habits in a relationship and a huge turn-off. Keeping yourself clean and tidy is not only important during the time of dating a partner. You have to keep high levels of hygiene even when you’re single, and even when you move in with your partner or marry them. Lack of hygiene will create a bad impression about you. Hygiene levels reflect your character and upbringing.
Related Reading: His Wife Had Bad Hygiene Habits That Led To A Divorce
11. Arguing with your partner in public
If you have the habit of arguing with your partner in front of your relatives, friends, or in public places, then it is really bad habit indeed. Such a situation will become embarrassing for the people around you and also for your partner. It is always better to sort out issues in private.
12. Stalking and keeping an eye on your partner
We asked Dyllan, a 30-year-old corporate recruiter: What are the habits that ruin relationships? They say, “If you ask me, bad habits that destroy most relationships are rooted in a constant tendency to mistrust your partner. It’s not as simple as infidelity, no. For example, if your partner couldn’t spend time with you one day, you shouldn’t immediately jump to the conclusion that they don’t love you or value their friends more than you. Trust your partner when they say they love you.”
Trust should become the main foundation of your relationship. You must respect your partner’s privacy. Do not turn into a creepy stalker and keep an eye on your partner 24*7. And absolutely avoid going through your partner’s emails, text messages, etc. These are the habits that ruin relationships.
Related Reading: His Wife Refuses To Allow Him Space And Follows Him Everywhere
13. Ignoring healthy feedback from your partner
Obviously, you will not like it if your partner criticizes you. But then, if your partner is giving you some healthy feedback, you must listen to it. Your partner wants the best for you and thus will criticize you only to help you improve. So ignoring such feedback will do you more harm than good.
14. Not talking about your sex life with your partner
Until and unless you express your sexual desires and pleasures, your partner will not be able to satisfy you. Thus, you need to be open to your partner and let them know what you want. Talking about your sexual needs and about experimenting in bed with your partner should be a normal thing for you.
15. Divulging too much personal information to family and friends
The relationship you share with your partner is sacred. The issues you have with each other should be kept private. If you constantly divulge information about your private life to your friends and family, then one day it will create major issues in your relationship. Therefore, keep your family and friends out of the relationship you share with your loved one.
16. Breaking promises regularly
Your significant other expects you to keep a promise when you make one. Maybe the first time you break a promise, your partner will let it go. But if you keep breaking promises regularly, then you will only further disappoint your partner. So make a promise only when you know you can follow through. Never use future faking to control your partner’s emotions.
17. Being jealous and over-possessive
A little jealousy from your side might give assurance to your partner that you truly love and cherish them. However, if you become over-jealous and overly possessive, then it is one of those bad relationship habits that can become suffocating for your loved one.

18. Forgetting relationship milestones
Relationship milestones are a way to celebrate the memories you both have spent together over the years. If you keep forgetting them, then it means that you do not value your partner and the moments spent with them.
19. Thinking negatively about things
In your life, you will face ups and downs. But this does not mean that you keep harboring negative thoughts and fail to appreciate the good things in life. If you continue to think negatively, then it will be exhausting not only for you, but also for your partner.
Related Reading: 40 Relationship Affirmations To Use For Your Love Life
20. Indulging in PDA
There is no harm in holding hands and kissing your partner once in a while in public. However, constant PDA is bound to make them uncomfortable and awkward at some point. You have to stop being insensitive to your partner’s feelings as well as the people around you both.
21. Hiding things with the use of white lies
White lies are trivial and harmless. But if you get into the habit of using white lies on a regular basis to hide things from your partner, it will ruin your relationship. The trust your partner has in you will break when they are faced with the mountain of your lies. A compulsive liar can’t nurture a relationship, so check that habit of lying in order to salvage your romance.
22. Keeping emotions pent up
This can harm your relationship in the worst possible manner. If you do not talk about your emotions and feelings, then your partner will not be able to understand and comfort you. You both will not be able to connect with each other emotionally. Do not blame your partner for not meeting your needs when you are unable to express them.
Key Pointers
- Not only do we threaten a relationship by continuing to indulge in individual bad habits, but partners pick up bad habits from each other as well
- Partners, nowadays, don’t know how to resolve conflicts amicably and face to face, they manipulate each other’s emotions, and take each other for granted
- Some of the bad habits that can ruin relationships are too much criticism, avoidance of healthy conflict, raking up past mistakes, not being emotionally intimate, breaking promises regularly, and too much insecurity
These bad habits may not seem that dangerous to you, but with time, these have the potential to become extremely destructive and can end your relationship. Therefore, you must make the efforts to improve yourself and break the bad habits before these shatter your relationship beyond repair.
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FAQs
What are bad habits that ruin relationships? ›
Doing inconsiderate things, causing trouble to your partner or other people, being thoughtless, not listening, not wanting to change, and not respecting your partner or other people can be some of the bad habits that harm your relationship.
What are bad habits you should not have in a relationship? ›- Withholding Affection. ...
- Taking Your Anger Out On Your Partner. ...
- Never Taking Blame. ...
- Not Listening. ...
- Withdrawal. ...
- Holding Your Partner To Unrealistic Expectations. ...
- Trying To Change Your Significant Other. ...
- Compare Your Relationship With Others.
Contempt: Expressing a lack of respect for our partners (e.g., name-calling, eye-rolling, ridiculing). Criticism: Attacking a partner's character. Defensiveness: Protecting from criticism by using excuses or shifting blame. Stonewalling: Withdrawing from communication by ignoring, zoning out or acting busy.
What are the 5 bad habits? ›- Fidgeting. ...
- Double checking. ...
- Drinking (in moderation). ...
- Smoking. ...
- Not exercising. ...
- Not sleeping enough. ...
- Looking at a screen right before bed. ...
- Slouching.
Your relationship may be toxic if it is characterized by behaviors that make you feel unhappy, including disrespect, dishonesty, controlling behaviors, or a lack of support.
What habits are hard to break? ›- Snacking. One simple reason for this: Our brains tell us to because they make us feel good. ...
- Nail Biting. Biting your nails isn't as unhealthy a habit as snacking, but it's still a bad one. ...
- Procrastinating. ...
- Gum Snapping. ...
- Gossiping.
Some of the common characteristics that are often seen in unhealthy relationships include controlling behaviors, mistrust, disrespect, and poor communication.
What weakens a relationship? ›Being Disrespectful Towards Each Other. Another most common reason that can destroy your relationship is being disrespectful to each other. The foundation of any relationship is respect. If you are disrespectful towards your partner, then nothing can save your relationship in the long run.
What are the red flags in a relationship? ›Red flags in a relationship include excessive jealousy and frequent lying. You should also be wary of a partner who frequently criticizes you or puts you down. Another major red flag is an unwillingness to compromise — relationships shouldn't be one-sided.
What kills love in a relationship? ›Trust is what holds the relationship together. Trust is what gives one peace of mind in a relationship. Very often, many have found that they have invested too much trust in a relationship, all for it to go to waste. Lack of trust kills love.
What kills intimacy in a relationship? ›
Rage, disrespect, and emotional stonewalling may not be relationship-ending in and of themselves, but continuing patterns can wear people down. An inability or unwillingness to respect your partner's thoughts, beliefs, and feelings can destroy the trust and intimacy in any relationship.
What is the biggest downfall in a relationship? ›Trust Issues
The lack or loss of trust is one of the most harmful impediments to a couple's long-term success. Without trust, a relationship misses two of the key anchors for forging and maintaining a strong bond: safety and security.
There are seven toxic habits that you should quit today. Stop comparing yourself to others, letting your past impact your present and future, not taking your own advice, expecting the worst, not taking chances, not sharpening your saw, and being too hard on yourself.
What are 10 bad habits? ›- Smoking. Research shows that even in small quantities, smoking is bad for you (Jha, 2020). ...
- Not exercising. ...
- Not getting enough sleep. ...
- Too much screen time before bed. ...
- Slouching. ...
- Overspending. ...
- Procrastination. ...
- Negative Self Talk.
The 21/90 rule states that it takes 21 days to make a habit and 90 days to make it a permanent lifestyle change. Is there a new lifestyle change you would like to make? Commit to your goal for 21 days and it will become a habit. Commit to your goal for 90 days and it will become a part of your lifestyle.
What are 7 signs of an unhealthy relationship? ›- Everything is about them. ...
- They are jealous or controlling. ...
- You feel exhausted or drained after spending time with them. ...
- They don't respect your boundaries. ...
- They isolate you from friends and family. ...
- They are manipulative, expecting you to always do what they want.
The four behaviours are Blaming, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling. Relationship expert Dr John Gottman termed these "The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" as they spell disaster for any personal or professional relationship.
What are the six bad habits? ›- Playing computer games. From a young age, we're told that sitting in front of a screen all day will give you square eyes. ...
- Having fat in your diet. ...
- Drinking coffee. ...
- Swearing. ...
- Having a lie-in. ...
- Not making your bed.
Many habits contribute to poor brain health, but four areas can have the most influence. They are too much sitting, lack of socializing, inadequate sleep, and chronic stress.
What are the most common bad habits men have? ›- Poor Personal Hygiene.
- Not Keeping Your Space Clean.
- Neglecting Your Mental Health.
- Wasting Time on Your Phone.
- Being Antisocial.
- Bad Eating Habits.
- No Exercise Routine.
- Disrespecting Women.
What are the 3 main reasons relationships fail? ›
And while there are many natural reasons why relationships don't work out – timing, diverging growth trajectories, differing values, and so on – there are three avoidable reasons that will cause any relationship to fail: non-acceptance, lack of trust, and poor communication.
What relationships are toxic? ›A toxic relationship is one that makes you feel unsupported, misunderstood, demeaned, or attacked. A relationship is toxic when your well-being is threatened in some way—emotionally, psychologically, and even physically.
What is negative intimacy? ›First, let's talk about negative intimacy. In a nutshell, negative intimacy is the continuation of unhealthy dynamics of your marriage long into your divorce — something I engaged in for about five years post-divorce!
What is unforgivable in a relationship? ›Controlling Tendencies. If your partner is trying to control your thoughts and actions, likes and dislikes, and your circle of friends, among other things, it could be unforgivable, as it shows a lack of respect and a scary, over-bearing nature.
What hurts most in a relationship? ›You don't trust
One is trusting your partner enough to know that s/he won't cheat on you or otherwise hurt you — and to know that he or she trusts you that way, too. The other is trusting them enough to know they won't leave you or stop loving you no matter what you do or say.
If you find yourself or your partner fuming with anger when you both are around each other, and their actions and words agitate you, your relationship has surely become sour, or maybe even bitter. No matter if you realise it or not, it's time that you save yourself from the trauma and step out.
When should you call it quits in a relationship? ›If you're not being satisfied emotionally, sexually or intellectually, it's probably time to move on. Ending a relationship is hard, but it's sometimes the only correct thing to do. If you and your partner aren't connecting on the most fundamental levels, it will be best for both of you to move on.
What is biggest red flags in a guy? ›- They make you feel bad about yourself. ...
- They have you second-guessing their feelings toward you. ...
- They don't listen to you. ...
- They don't support your goals. ...
- They pressure you to get physical before you're ready. ...
- The relationship is all about them.
- You keep breaking up and getting back together. ...
- You're doing all the sacrificing. ...
- You can't trust them. ...
- You've grown apart. ...
- Your major values aren't aligned. ...
- You've stopped caring or putting in the effort. ...
- You're experiencing physical or emotional abuse. ...
- You don't like yourself.
The Four Horsemen: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling. Being able to identify the Four Horsemen in your conflict discussions is a necessary first step to eliminating them and replacing them with healthy, productive communication patterns.
What kills relationship fastest? ›
Blame and shame. Aside from all-out abusive behavior, blaming and shaming may be the fastest way to kill your connection. Both behaviors communicate contempt for your partner, displaying that you view him or her as beneath you or deserving of scorn.
What is the number one killer of love? ›The research found that couples who are contemptuous of each other are more likely to suffer from infectious illness (colds, the flu, etc.) than couples who are not contemptuous. Contempt is the most poisonous of all relationship killers.
What blocks intimacy? ›Physical or sexual abuse: Abuse in childhood can make it difficult to form both emotional and sexual intimacy as an adult. Neglect: People who experienced neglect as children may find it difficult to trust and rely on others, including intimate partners, as adults.
What is the most intimate act in a relationship? ›e.g. kissing, cuddling, or holding hands. Holding hands especially can become the most intimate act of love. By holding hands you can harmonize your energy systems and become one.
What is the highest form of intimacy in a relationship? ›Level five is the highest level of intimacy. It is the level where we are known at the deepest core of who we are. Because of that, it is the level that requires the greatest amount of trust. If I can't trust that you won't reject me, I'll never be able to share my deepest self with you.
What are 4 reasons couples break up? ›- They haven't learned how to deal with their differences. In a relationship's honeymoon period, a couple's differences tend to stay in the background. ...
- They don't pay attention to the relationship anymore. ...
- They have difficult time influencing their partner.
The most common reasons people say they fall out of love are a loss of physical intimacy, a loss of trust, a loss of feeling loved, emotional pain, often driven by grief over feeling lonely, and negative views of oneself (poor self-image, feeling like a failure) driven by feeling rejected by a partner.
How do you know a relationship will last? ›Your relationship will last forever if your trust, intimacy, and love grow with time. Also, if your future goals and plans are aligned with each other, you can make your relationship work to last a lifetime. Remember that a true win for couples is when they fight but do not forget to respect each other.
What is the unhealthiest habit? ›- Lack of Vegetables in Your Diet. Not incorporating vegetables in your diet can lead to digestive issues and other health problems. ...
- Eating On-The-Go. ...
- Living a Sedentary Lifestyle. ...
- Forgoing Doctor Recommended Cancer Screenings. ...
- Not Getting Enough Sleep.
In a toxic marriage, you're seldom "allowed" to communicate your feelings, needs, and perspectives. And, in the rare instance that you're given a mic, their voice seeks to overpower yours. Your spouse may belittle, dismiss or scoff at any fair attempt to express yourself.
What toxic habits destroy success? ›
- Living in the past. ...
- Allowing problems to overwhelm you. ...
- 3 Not believing in yourself. ...
- Worrying about what others think. ...
- Comparing yourself to others. ...
- Being self-critical. ...
- Resisting change.
It's not too late to reverse your worst habits (stopping smoking, drinking, over-eating, and more) and immediately start living a happier, healthier life. Overeating, worshipping the sun, spending beyond your means—we all know these habits fall squarely into the bad-for-you category.
What is bad social habit? ›Not paying attention to the people you care about most. Constantly fishing for compliments. De-Emphasizing compliments with self-effacing remarks. Cutting people off mid-sentence. An unsupportive attitude.
What is the 20 second rule habits? ›If you want to create a new habit, you have to make it easy to integrate by decreasing the activation energy for the habits you want to implement. In a nutshell: the less time it takes to get done (ideally 20 seconds or less), the more likely you're going to do it!
What is the 3 second rule habits? ›A general rule that helps many drivers maintain safe following distances is the “three-second rule.” It requires leaving three seconds of space between your vehicle and the vehicle driving in front of you. If you are interested in forming safer driving habits, you need to understand and implement the three-second rule.
What is the 20 second rule bad habits? ›When it takes more than 20 seconds to start a task, we are more likely to not do it. Our brain is lazy and wants to work on familiar tasks. We can use this as a strength to form new habits.
What are 5 things that make a relationship unhealthy? ›- Control. One dating partner makes all the decisions and tells the other what to do, what to wear, or who to spend time with. ...
- Hostility. ...
- Dishonesty. ...
- Disrespect. ...
- Dependence. ...
- Intimidation. ...
- Physical violence. ...
- Sexual violence.
- Poor communication skills. Communication issues are often the root causes of breakups in relationships. ...
- Long-distance woes. ...
- No emotional connection. ...
- You aren't friends. ...
- Money troubles. ...
- Infidelity. ...
- Excessive jealousy. ...
- Toxic or abusive behavior.
You don't trust
One is trusting your partner enough to know that s/he won't cheat on you or otherwise hurt you — and to know that he or she trusts you that way, too. The other is trusting them enough to know they won't leave you or stop loving you no matter what you do or say.
- 10 Signs of unhealthy/abusive behaviour. Whilst all relationships have their ups and downs, an unhealthy relationship is one where a partner or close family member shows behaviour that is disrespectful, controlling or even violent. ...
- Obsessive behaviour. ...
- Possessiveness. ...
- Manipulation. ...
- Guilting. ...
- Belittling. ...
- Sabotage. ...
- Isolation.
What kills romance in a relationship? ›
Not Spending Any Time Apart
"Demanding your partner's constant attention, not having outside interests or friends, or extreme jealousy are toxic to romance," says Stein.
Keeping secrets often leads to resentment, as one partner may feel that they are not being heard or taken seriously by the other. This can also lead to bitterness, anger, and frustration, as one partner may think their feelings are not valued or appreciated by the other.
What is stonewalling in a relationship? ›Stonewalling is, well, what it sounds like. In a discussion or argument, the listener withdraws from the interaction, shutting down and closing themselves off from the speaker because they are feeling overwhelmed or physiologically flooded. Metaphorically speaking, they build a wall between them and their partner.
What annoys the most in a relationship? ›A poll of 2,000 people found they typically spend a fifth of the day feeling annoyed at their partner because of snoring, passing wind, loudness, messiness and rudeness. Other top gripes include never listening, talking through TV shows and being bad with money.
What hurts men in a relationship? ›Making fun of his habits. As mentioned earlier, men have huge egos and hurting their ego is not going to take you a long way in the relationship. He may have a funny or an irritating habit that might not please you but that's when compromising and politeness comes into the picture. Don't brush of it off in a rude way.
What hurts girls the most in a relationship? ›It hurts a wife when the husband would rather confide in another woman and praise another woman. 7. It hurts a wife when she tries her best to be a good wife, cook for him, serve him, stay sexy for him, stay faithful to him; but he just doesn't notice her effort. 8.